The Bookstore

My heart skips a beat, my eyes are scanning every corner, my legs, want to run and explore. Oh where do I start, where am I drawn to, who is calling to me.


The possibilities,

The adventure,

The happiness,

The sadness,

The thrilling,

The torturous,

The colours,

The sizes,

The cheap,

The expensive.

I am in my own world when, I go into a................................BOOKSTORE.

A bookstore is where I could very easily spend the whole day. It soothes my soul when I get to explore a book store.

I had a text the other night from a girl friend to say that Borders and Angus and Robertson had gone into voluntary administration. See she knows how much I love bookstores and books. She listened to me rave on and on when Apple bought out the IPAD, it made me sick to think that people would rather read a book on their computer. I know it is a sign of the times, that nothing stays the same, convenience, they are cheaper, that you can have access to any book in the world that you would like.

I say SO WHAT. How can anyone replace discovering, a book that is calling you to read it, to flick through, to have a real “feel” for the book , to run your hands along the shelves, to have a peek into all the nooks and crannies, to open yourself up to see what treasures you can find.

How can you replace sitting in your garden, lounge room, bed, car, train, aeroplane, or beach, with a beautiful book, the heaviness of it, the pages that are tangible and you turn almost unconsciously as you are so engrossed in your book. Eventually putting up on a book shelf and being proud of all the books that you have read, the emotions that they stirred up in you. The adventures that you had while reading them.

None of this can be replaced by a computer.

An exercise in dreaming.

I crave adventure, experience, sights, and people beyond my own garden gate. At this point in my life, I am dreaming of where I would go, what I would do, who would be with me, how long would I stay. Of course it would be all expenses paid, a nanny trailing along.

I would take my little family (and the nanny), on an adventure, around the world for 6 months.

We would start off in London and stay there for a month, we would explore the sights, castles, country side, we would travel to some of the beautiful little villages, of course travel on a double decker bus, go past Her Majesty’s palace, visit Hamleys Toy Shop, wonder around The National Gallery, Westminster abbey, Shakespears Globe theatre, Tower of London,  and Stone Henge.

Then pop over to France for a couple of weeks and see the Eiffel tower, eat some snails, go the south and explore some wineries, The Louvre, Mont St Michel.

The big one a couple of 3 months in Italy, ride through Tuscany, visit leaning tower of Pisa, Eat in the Trastevere District, visit the Boboli Gardens in Florence, Float down the Grand Canal in Venice, place my hands on the Colosseum, Marvel at the Sistine chapel, Trevi fountain, and St Peters Basilica, Walk across the bridge of Sighs. Do some people watching in a little cafe while I have a coffee and my husband and kids (and the nanny) have a gelato. I would take my children to a Montessori school to see what they are like in Italy.

Go to the USA, to take the kids to Disney Land, visit New York to go to Broadway.
 On the way back to Australia, fly into Bali so that my husband can go surfing, I can get a massage.

That would definitely satisfy my craving for adventure, experience, sights, and people beyond my own garden gate.

My Job

My current job is administrative officer in a Hospital Emergency Department. I work shift work and weekends. The shifts are 700 am 1100 am 1430 pm and 2245pm.

The work is registering patients so that the hospital has there details on file, filing, answering phone calls, faxing, dealing with patient enquiries, working closely with nursing and medical staff. Plus 100 other menial tasks.

It is a fast paced environment which, can be an advantage, because you are on the go all the time, it can also be very stressful. The Emergency Department is a very emotional place, people get every emotional when they are waiting to be seen by a doctor or they are waiting for friends and family.

I cop a lot of abuse, from patients, friends and family of patients. The shift work is tedious, to work around with children. On shift work I always feel like I am disappointing someone, if it is not myself, then my family and friends. This is because events, dinners, camping trips all seem to pop up the days that I work. Working the weekend is horrible because my husband has weekends off and so we are like passing ships, he is walking in from work and I am kissing him good bye, to go to work.

I have been in this job for 10 years now and while I like the people that I work with and I have meet some very interesting people, it is time for me to get away from such a toxic, hectic, tiring, abusive, emotional, disappointing place.

Why am I still there the $$$$$.
My dream job would be working from my gorgeous home, to be flexible, financially rewarding, challenging, inspiring work that helps me grow as a person and that I find complete joy in. I want to travel; I want it to reflect my individuality.

I have always dreamed of writing, I love talking to people and finding out there stories, I find other peoples stories inspiring, motivational and healing. People’s stories are what connect us as humans. From the stories and experiences it is the stories that we find that we have in common with people. Their stories can help us on our own journey.

I have never written before because of a lack of confidence in my ability. Because if I was to write someone’s story, I want it to jump off the page and be real to the reader, I want the reader to be as inspired as I was when I heard it.

So my dream job would be to interview and write people’s stories and for them to be published.

Why I have not ventured that path: Lack of confidence in my writing skills, and not knowing how to get the stories out to others.

My Ring

The handsome, young, surfer guy that presented me with this stunning, ring, is the first guy that I have ever really loved. He was my first boyfriend out of high school.

We were together, fours years by the time that he asked the big question. We were both young, all I wanted in the world was to be married, have a nice house and start a family.

The day that he proposed, we had flown back to Brisbane, from visiting friends in Sydney, I was sick with a head cold and the flu, we went to the beach so that he could go surfing, the day was miserable and all I wanted to do was go home.

He pulled up in a car park on the sunshine coast that has the most beautiful view of the ocean, (him) " come on lets go for a walk," (me) are you kidding me, I am not walking anywhere". Anyway he asked a couple of more time for me to go for a walk and I just wanted to get home.

He leans down underneath the car seat ( I thought he was getting out cigarettes). Gets out a ring box opens it up and says will you marry me, then. I burst into tears of course and cuddle him so hard, I was crying, saying yes at the same time but couldn't let go of his neck. He finally scrapes me off him. He slides the ring on my finger and that is where it has been for the past 11 years.

I later found out that he had, bought the ring weeks before and that he had kept it in his car that whole time. I loved that he picked out the rings all on his own.

What a fabulous day

I am in such a happy, joyous, grateful place at this very moment, you know those days where everything is fabulous. I had a great sleep last night and woke up this morning with one of my gorgeous boys curled up beside me fast asleep.

Got to school drop off and I had done my hair a bit different this morning and everyone that I came in contact with commented how gorgeous  I looked.  My youngest boy decided to pick flowers from our garden and give them to his teacher. My eldest walked into his class room told his teacher how nice she looked and then sat quietly on the mat.

All of the above had already made my day.

I meet a girlfriend for coffee for her birthday and I had a clear picture of exactly what I wanted to buy for her and I walked into the shop and it literally fell at my feet. 

Had the most delicious coffee, and FABULOUS conversation with my beautiful friend Helen.  When we parted ways, I felt so light and happy and in this fabulous mood, we had talked about so much stuff but all was positive and happy.

I have been wishing and wanting and hoping to find a nice mat for our lounge room at a good price and that will fit. I walked into a local shop, picked up some cushion covers for 50% off and they were probably another 50% cheaper then the exact same ones I wanted to buy in Byron.  I also found my perfect mat it was also on sale. 

My lounge room looks fabulous now and has such a great energy.  I cleaned out my shoe cupboard and have arranged all my shoes so they look like they are in a shoe shop.  OHH they look so beautiful.

I am off to do reading with my youngest boys class. I love reading with the littlies, see reading is a passion of mine and I love watching the little ones faces, it is such a fabulous achievement, to sound those pesky words out.

What a fabulous day

Melinda xx

What's my style

I am so frustrated/ undecided,  at the moment, I have been doing that much digging, prodding, exploring trying to figure out me, in my heart, my head, my soul.  That I now look at my wardrobe, and  at my hair and  me  and I don't suit me anymore. (if that makes sense). Standing at my cupboard and I don't even like my favourite jeans anymore.

I need a new wardrobe, I want to love the clothes I am wearing, I want to feel confident in them. I want clothes that portray me, the new me, the me that isn't sitting on the sidelines anymore. I don't want to just buy them cause they are on the sale rack, or I am desperate for a top and that will do. I am still stuck, we haven't won the lotto yet, so can not throw out my entire cupboard, and buy the "new me" clothes.



I have been really concentrating so hard on what I want and really digging deep within me and asking myself lots of questions and scribbling, writing, jotting down pages and pages of answers in my diary and I seem to be changing at a rate of knots that I am not keeping up with.

My husband was dumb founded on the weekend when we were camping at Broken Head.  I actually went swimming and surfing and it wasn't 40 degrees, and I didn't care who saw me in a bikini,  AND I loved it. I did yoga on the beach (something I haven't had the confidence to do before), cause god forbid someone would think that I am weird AND I loved it.

The same is to be said for my blog, it is so plain and boring, but I am so stuck at the moment that I am not sure, what "look" I am going for.

So I will put out my request for new clothes and inspiration for the "look"of my blog to the universe and see what is provided.

Or if anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Melinda

New Years Resolution

We are keeping a new years resolution.

New Years day as I was just completing the tedious task of unpacking bags from our Moreton trip.  My husband throws himself on our bed and says so another year.

What are our new years resolutions ???  See I have never been one for new years resolutions. This year is different,  we are going to have a fabulous year, we are going to do things that we always say we will and then life, money, fear, work gets in the way.

I made him promise, that we will be going camping for one weekend a month.

We bought our camper trailer back, after we had to sell it cause we were in desperate need of cash.  I am sure that the universe took it away from us, because we were so caught up in our own shit to much to see what fabulous things we already had sitting in our laps.

So we are off to Broken Head, this afternoon, pick the boys up from school and keep on going down the highway to our first camping holiday of the year.

I am so excited, not so much about the camping, but that we are keeping promises that we have made to ourselves.